i already posted this meme and i ain't posting again. but i am posting my new questions.


1. Have things changed for you? Or are you still the same?

Hmm. I'd have to say the same, but better at dealing with myself. idk everything is like super highs and super lows, you know? but i feel like i'm on the road to get on the road towards being chill, again. so.

2. What would like to be doing post-graduation from college?

eurgh, college. that's pm all anyone talks about to me now. what do you want to do with your life, anosha? what do you want to major in? where do you want to go? [by anyone i mean all the adults who feel obligated to talk to me at dinner parties. you aren't doing me a favor, stfu.]

as of now, i'm seriously leaning towards tattoo artistry, which means i'd get an apprenticeship after college. i'm also considering becoming a public defender because i feel like i'd be happy doing that and like that would be something i'd be good at, but a] eww law school and b] my mom was so happy when i told her that she practically threw up a lung. out of joy. which makes me more wary of it.

and i'd seriously love to be able to write as a profession, but you know. that's difficult. so aside from the tattoo artist thing, i have no fucking clue.

3. Will you get a tumblr so you can bother me there too?

no.

4. What's the one thing you think you'll miss most once you're done with schooling?

after high school, i think [or know, pm] that i'd miss being a teenager the most. i mean yeah, growing up is awesome and stuff, but there's something free about being a teenager. it's like, you can be all 'fuqq u werld' and the world is like 'there there, in a few years you'll change'. which is true and also incredibly liberating.

after schooling in general though, i'll miss the reliability of it. school sucks, sure, but it's a Thing, and once i'm done, i'll really be an adult, and shit's scary.

5. Are you watching the AMAs right now? Because this shit is sort of horrifying. Seriously.

no, and now i wish that i'd watched it. i missed lady gaga, as someone at school informed me. give me the insider deetz, yo.

i stole this from takkatakkatakka even though she likes red starburst. what the hell.


Leave me a comment saying "vous les vousco chez avec moi?"

ETA: OKAY OKAY. "voulez-vous couchez avec moi?"

BITCH.

ETAx2 because onj is a whiny dick: "voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"

one day when my french grammar is superiorest, i will pwn you. so get ready.

• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions


1. What is your favourite Daniel Day Lewis movie?

what was this your way of demonstrating your superiority? huh? was this supposed to make me feel uncomfortable? make me admit that i have not seen one, and that i didn't know that until i wikapediaed him and checked out his fimolography thing? hmmm? i see right through you.

2. Is all human effort essentially pointless?

yes, because we're all going to die. also because mj won at life with his music video for thriller, so we should all have gone home a long time ago.

3. If you could be totally in charge of your own music festival (a la Wayne's World 2), what would you call it?

die you whore. as an interesting side-note, my mother would not let me go to such a music festival. which means that i'd be stopping all the kewl kids from going. which would be the point.

~im a master at ironey~

4. Whatchoo know about me whatchoo whatchoo know about me?

i know whatcho mamma did last night. me.

and that you like red starburst. [brilligspoons dont think i forgot about you, either]

5. How would you win in this fight? Your opposer's weapons: a knife, a harpoon, Edward Cullen. Your weapons: England.

bitch you have some doubt in my fighting skillz? i'd dazzle e.ward with my hawt bod, rendering him permanently speechless [move over bella], then use a biscuit to break the knife and then i'd i don't know, fuckin win.

have no doubt about it. im a boss.

sara: why would you say lets go tonight just now if you knew you couldn't?

me: i was kidding. does it matter?

sara: i would say so.

me: not really.

sara: actually, it was. because it was mean, and i didnt know you were kidding so i was in the middle of a conversation with my mom figuring out a plan.

sara: and, you know, maybe i was excited a little. did you think of that?

me: im sorry for hurting your feelings sara. that was insensitive of me.

sara: it is extremely insensitive of you to be so sarcastic right now.

me: okay then what do you want me to say? sorry i got your hopes up sara. i obviously knew that youd take me seriously when i was, pretty blatantly i thought, being sarcastic.

sara: wow you never stop do you?

me: oh my god. i think yorue getting needlessly upset about something stupid okay? i also think that its ridiculous that you ~accused me or w/e of plotting against you or some shit and then you get huffy at me for being sarcastic.

JESUS. i hate this. like, okay, i know im being a jerk. i know! but she's getting so pissed off at me for being mean, when she was being mean first [lol childish w/e] and she's being all i can't believe youre so mean ;___; this is all your fault ;___; DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT I'D GET MY HOPES UP AND BE UPSET?!?!?!1111?!?!

like, okay, IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE FOR ME TO ASSUME THAT WOW WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

i hate fighting over texts.

i made plans with this group of friends i have- my 'best friends', if that ever means anything- to go see that shitty vampire movie on friday. so then i asked them all yesterday if we were going, and three of them said they couldn't go, so like, okay fine. then this happens.

sara: hey do you wanna go see new moon tonight? i dont have my swim meet anymore.

me: amy and caitlin can't.

sara: yeah i heard. im asking you and mandy.

me: but then amy and caitlin wouldn't go with us?

sara: well yeah but they're gone. so there isn't really a way to see it with them...

me: well we could just wait til next week.

sara: im out of town.

me: or the week after that.

sara: thats kind of ridiculous. i know its like a big deal that we see it together but if we have to wait a month for that to happen... i mean maybe you me and manndy can see it tonight and see it again with amy and caitlin or something.

me: yeah but i can only afford to see it once. and in two weeks itll be less crowded anyway.

sara: we dont have to do everything as the five of us. and who knows who else will have conflicts in two weeks? i thought you and mandy wanted to go so i had to do a lot to get out of my meet tonight so we could. so can we please just go tonight?

me: wow i had no idea that we could do things separately like that. yeah lets go tonight.

sara: i'll ignore that. what time?

me: i cant actually.

sara: right. of course you can't, because you asked if we could only yesterday.

sara: but you will be able to next week, right? and i'll also bet that you wont suggest everyone wait just because i cant go. thats also cool.

me: wow you caught me. you know, people do sometimes make new plans when their old plans change.

sara: we never actually made a plan because you didnt choose to answer when i was trying to. or you could have just come out and said you couldn't tonight, you had other plans so i wouldnt have to get out of mine so i could accommodate yours.

me: sorry then. maybe you and mandy can go.

i HATE HATE HATE fighting over texting, especially with sara. and like, fine i was a douche a little bit. but like- okay, if we went without her, she'd be so pissed off. but it's totally cool if we go without people as long as it isn't her. this happens ALL THE GODDAMN TIME. and obviously, i am totally out to get her. i mean, did you see the way she guessed what i was planning to do? it was pretty creepy actually. its not as if i have better things to do than to scheme against her. and this whole thing, is also so my fault. like, i was ignoring her when she was trying to make plans! me! just me! everyone else was game it was only me! and i shouldve told her, yesterday after she said she couldn't go that oh, okay, looks like i was going to do something else then. just wanted to let you know so that you wouldn't bother getting out of swimming! just- UGH.

whenever we fight, she 1] acts as if i am purposefully trying to hurt her or something ["you cant get mad at me just because im finally standing up for myself!"] and 2] blames everything on me and 3] ignores me at school and then turns around and 4] gets mad at me for 'ignoring' her when she needs me or whatever, and 5] being an asshole and 6] making me be the asshole more than her because im an awful person.

the fact that im not putting this behind a cut illustrates number 6. if you were interested.

ETA:
mandy: heyyyy why can't we go to new moon tonight?

me: because im spending the evening reuniting my current self with past selves into one self.

mandy: umm...what?

me: it's all very theoretical. metaphorical, too.

the thing that happens when i fight with people is i lash out in doucheyness. so even if theyre the ones who are wrong, here, i sound like the biggest douche and therefore i lose.

i don't think you get to give up. i don't get to give up, right? who the hell even decided when it's giving up and when it's just taking a nap?

i miss missing this. take a vacation, take a hike, whatever. listen to some lady gaga.

i have friday off, and then wednesdaythursdayfriday off, then monday off. maybe it takes time to learn how to not constantly tell yourself to fuck off.

This is my overture entry thing. I... don't really know how I feel about it, actually. I think it takes me a few weeks to get any real perspective on what I've written.

So, y'know, tell me what you think, or not or whatever.

( this is what you get )

there's this thing, called the overture awards, which are for dance, creative writing, instrumental music, voice, theater, and something else. and forms are due tomorrow. and i just realized that if i want to apply for the creative writing part, i need to submit my application WITH my work tomorrow.

so i'm currently writing my piece. it's poetry, and it's supposedly about growing up, though it's mostly about me.

i'll post it here sometime.

send me good vibes. margie [heh heh heh] i hope you kicked ass on your job interview. i will be checking your journal for updates anxiously later.

also, send her good vibes. fuck it, send good vibes to everyone. like chain mail, only not annoying.

Lets Go To The Mall - Scotty Vanity

HEY EVERYBODY.

YOUR FAVORITE/ONLY TEENAGE ASSHOLE IS BACK ON YOUR FLIST!!

REJOICE~~~!!

itt you catch me up on your life, wait in patience for me to post about my crush.

!!!